Virtual Illusions (Life in SL)

It has now been 14 months since I wandered from the world of online Role Playing with one of my rp partners back to Second Life, for round 2. My first foray was in '04 with some Gorean Friends from another 3D gaming environment much like SL. Only my computer really, really hated SL. Often, I ask myself, just what it is I hope to find here, what I want to get out of it, and pretty much like my first life, I enjoy exploring, learning, meeting people, hanging with friends, good music and the shoe fetish I could never afford rl!

The only difference between this round, and the last? I am not role playing. But, Second Life is a "Game" right? Perhaps not quite like WoW or Wii, and you can find role play in various genre's if you look. But, it's not "real" right? Just pixels on a screen? For many, SL is an avenue to escape the mundane, to anonymously explore things that might be forbidden in your first life, or, to become something else or someone else altogether, for a little while. You are only bound, by your own lack of creativity in SL. I am reminded of the song about the kid who comes home from school and changes from an unknown geek, into the hot, successful, sports car driving, chick magnet in LA as he assumes the role of online Lothario, having three-way chats.

For others, like myself and 90% of my SL friends, my SL avie is better dressed, has better curves (that you can inflate or deflate depending on the style of clothing), infallible hair, awesome dance techniques which are shown often, and even occasionally with a member of the opposite sex. And yet, she is pretty close to me in many respects. I write, she belongs to writer's groups. I love the blues, she explores blues live performances and clubs. I enjoy teaching, she teaches building classes. I enjoy selling things, she has two stores. If I did not live in the worlds most obnoxious climate, and suffer sever weather envy, I would want to live on that nice Caribbean island that she does, with palm trees and hammocks. She also seems to have my same sense of humor, horrid typing and spelling abilities, and the ability to tell if someone is genuine or not. She is a bit direct, blunt, and is most likely a Sagi as well. She has a fierce sense of loyalty and justice. She may not stick up for herself, but no one, causes her friends issues. She never starts anything, but she might finish it. She has loved, she has lost, she has known great sorrow, and great inspiration. She has made good friends, bad mistakes, and questionable choices. Does that make her real, or not? Just part of a game? Or a part of me that exists in a different reality? Do they have to always be the same?

I am not sure. I am looking for answers that no one else can answer for me. I suspect it is different for everyone. One thing I am thankful for.... I do not have to contend with the amount of drama or trouble makers that I seem to encounter online, in my RL. Perhaps that is a good reason, not to live in SL. There are no alts, guys pretending to be girls, people who tell you one thing and do another, and for the most part, it is much easier to bitch slap someone rl that hurts you, than online. I am still working on that animation.

One thing you can be sure of, when she hurts, I feel it. Hell of a game.